OK, I have this funny feeling I might once have said I'd put some technical and educational crap on e site somewhere, so I doubt I'm going to have to. You'll have to wait though, cos technical stuff isn't particualrly entertaining, therefore I don't like it, OK?

This is a nice little place for burnt out students and other people who are students and
also happen to be burnt out. (By the way, if any students out there have any suggestions as to what the hell I'm going to do with this page, feel free to drop me a line. Cheers.) I am an Irish student studying in the Department of Very Silly
People under the School of Slowly and Painfully Working-out the Blindingly Obvious.
I am completely sane, depending on who you compare me to. Usually. I see it as my continuing mission
to boldly go and cheer up the entire student body who are desperate enough to need me to cheer them up.
So, welcome one and all to this, my homepage, where I hope to administer copious amounts of class 'A' drugs,
force people to inhale lots of nitrous-oxide, and generally give people a slap if they aren't enjoying themselves.
So...... CHEER UP, DAMMIT!!!! UNLESS YOU WANT A SLAP!!!!

I went mad for a while; did me no end of good. I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic. I found a small lake that thought it was a gin and tonic and jumped in and out of that. At least, I thought it thought it was a gin and tonic.

Jackie Chan's Sado-Masochism class.

Lesson1. Do the splits quickly.

Lesson2. Jump from insanely high buildings.

Lesson3. Slap an enraged buufalo in the face with a fresh salmon.

Next week, Lesson 4. How to survive lessons 1-3.

• Anything that happens, happens.
  
  Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
  
  Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
  
  It doesn't necessarily happen in chronological oreder though.

  
  

• There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it's here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and unexplicable.

  
  There is another theory which states this has already happened.

  
  

• There is only one species on earth more intelligent than the dolphins, and they spend a lot of their time in behavoural research laboratories running round inside wheels and conducting frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again, man has completely misinterperated this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans.
  Such subtlety, one has to admire it. How better to disguise their real natures,
  And how better to guide man's thinking. Suddenly running down a maze the wrong way, eating the wrong bit of cheese, unexpectedly dropping dead of myxomatosis - if it's finely calculated,
  The cumulative effect is enormous.

  
  
  

• Long and smelly,
  tastes like welly,
  lies for weeks inside your belly.
  
  

The problem with alcohol is this:- �. I'm not quite sure what the problem is, but it has something to do with the following.
He had a drink. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was allright. He sent a third drink down to see why the second hadn't yet reported on the condition of the first. He poured another drink down his throat with the plan that it would head the previous one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second to pull itself together. Then all three would go off in search of the first, give it a good talking to and maybe a bit of a sing as well. He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all, that, so he sent a fifth to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support.

See what I mean?